Short Funny Captions for Instagram and Best Funny Instagram Captions For Girls and Boys (Copy-Paste).
Funny Captions For Instagram
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Reality called, so I hung up.
Friends pick us up when we fall down and if they can’t, they lie down with us and listen for a while.
I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
with your best friend is all the therapy you need.
True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.
Best friends keep your secret longer – at least for one hour.
Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep disturbing them..!!
A true friend cares like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and loves more than a lover.
Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.
God made us best friends because he knew our moms couldn’t handle us as sisters.
A girl can survive without a boyfriend, but she can’t survive without a best friend.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
Coffee and friends make the perfect blend.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
Friends are the family you choose.
Strangers think I’m quiet, my friends think I’m outgoing, but my best friends know that I’m completely insane.
Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
I’m on a date, she isn’t very social.
I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
A cop pulled me over and told me Papers, so I said Scissors, I win! And drove off.
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram?
I won’t cry for you. My mascara’s too expensive.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
I just want to hug you so much right now.
It’s okay even the sky cries sometimes.
When a girl is in love, you can see it in her smile. When a guy is in love, you can see it in his eyes.
I like the way you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.
I will love you unconditionally.
Funny Captions For Best Friend
You make my heart skip a beat.
I feel the fragrance of LOVE everywhere when you are near me.
Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got to be so damn lucky.
You mean more to me than you’ll ever know.
With you, every moment is sweet and memorable.
I don’t Chat to Flirt.
One soul, two bodies.
I am trying not to think about you but it’s not working.
You are the risk I’ll always take.
By the way, I’m wearing the smile you gave me.
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
There is maybe no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly.
We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I’ll pick you up… after I finish laughing.
Friends knock on the door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
Friends don’t let you do crazy things…alone.
Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!!
Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: run loser run!
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
Last name Ever, first name Greatest.
I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open, looking for answers. Also food.
Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
I know the voices in my head aren’t real… but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I eat cake because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere!
It’s okay to be a glow stick; sometimes we need to break before we shine.
What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram?
When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child Mo.
Don’t worry, Beyonce.
They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
I am actually quite a nice person. Until you piss me off!
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life!
Life is short… and so am I!
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nikes and you can’t do it.
Just dropped my new single! It’s me. I’m single.
They call it a ‘selfie’ because ‘narcissistic’ is too hard to spell.
Be savage, not average.
Never let a man treat you like anything less than Beyoncé.
ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.
You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.
You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well, not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a carebear, I’d definitely fight a carebear for you.
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status.
He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six-hour argument takes talent.
Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think… Damn, he is one lucky man.
I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.
“An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”
Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.”
“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.”
When nothing goes right, go left.
Don’t worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
Yes, I do bad things, but I do them well.
I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you.
Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.
We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.
Lifehack #321: Keep cake fresh by eating it in one sitting.
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.
“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.”
Funny Captions For Instagram For Girl
Food always comes to those who love to cook.
I love calories. They are dаmn tasty.
A best friend is like your favorite bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, and close to your heart.
Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face!
This all started with Netflix and chill.
Nothing is lost until your mother can’t find it.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.
Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.
Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
The best thing to do first thing in the morning is to go right back to sleep.
A good place to put inspirational quotes is up to your ass.
Hold on, let me overthink about it.
What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?
You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee and then after that still please don’t talk to me.
A relationship is when one person is always right and the other person is the boyfriend.
I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends will go there.
I knew it was meant to be when I loved you even when I was hungry.
Everyone has that one annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.
Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.
I’d take a nerf bullet for you.
“Friendship is about finding people who are your kind of crazy.“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.”
“There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
“Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.”
This is by far your worst idea ever… I’ll be there in 15 minutes.
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.”
“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell
True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.
To all my friends that I promised I’d never post a cheesy couples pic: Keep scrolling.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”
There are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere:
There’s very little advice in men’s magazines because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
The reason women will never be the ones to propose is that as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping.
Kiss me if I’m wrong but dinosaurs still exist right?
I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract!
You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.
A true friend cares like a mom, scolds like a dad, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother, and loves more than a lover.
Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.
Real friends don’t care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.
Non-biological sibs.
Short Funny Captions
I know I’m a handful, but that’s why you have two hands.
Every 60 seconds, there’s a girl posting a positive message that she doesn’t live by.
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.
Stay strong. Make them wonder why you are still smiling.
Never be afraid of what you are going for.
Boys/ Girls are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken.
If sleep is important, why does school start so early?!
I have never seen elegance go out of style.
You and me, we are like a small gang!
A good friend knows all your best stories, a best friend has lived them with you.
A good friend is like a box of chocolate…sweet, nutty, & a good remedy for a bad day!
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not really your friends.
“I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
“You’re only as good as your last haircut.”
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”
“Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”
Be as picky with your men as you are with your selfies.
Nama’stay on the couch.
Vodka may not be the answer but it’s worth a shot.
There’s no “we” in fries.
I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.
If I won the award for laziness, I’d send someone to go pick it up for me.
Have you ever eaten a clock? It’s so time-consuming.
Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you.
I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
“What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.”
“Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.”
My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week, and 24 hours a day until I met you.
“Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”
What’s a girl gotta do to get some fries around here?
Hakuna ma-vodka.
No laws when you’re drinking claws.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
How do people write autobiographies? I barely remember what I had for lunch.
I’m smart. I just do stupid things.
An apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough.
Life happens. Coffee helps
I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t even know where the box is.
Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But that gets boring really fast. So, I go back to being normal!
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life!
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A may-bee… I’m a maybe.
You couldn’t handle me. Even if I came with instructions!
I have no selfie control.
Life update: Currently holding it all together with a single bobbypin.
When you’re feeling downie, eat a brownie.
I’m here for a good time, not a long time.
I am not weird. I’m limited edition.
I may be a handful, but that’s why you’ve got two hands.
I’m not lazy, just on energy-saving mode.
There is no angry way to say, “Bubbles.”
I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitoes find me attractive!
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the filter.
Funny Captions For Boys
What’s a queen without her king? Historically speaking, more powerful.
Who needs self-awareness when I can make you aware of me instead?
You don’t have to like me; I’m not a Facebook status.
Know your worth but don’t forget to add tax.
“Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.”
Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with your best friends.
Friendship is…being equally annoying.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life.
Best memories come from bad ideas.
Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us we would be put in a mental hospital.
Happiness is doing weird things with friends.
A best friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
Great things never came from comfort zones.
People don’t take trips, trips take people.
Wander often, wonder always.
I’ve got a bad case of wanderlust.
We travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.
Know your worth but don’t forget to add tax.
*Insert witty Instagram caption here*
When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade then sell it.
I may be down to earth but I’m still above you.
Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
Some days I amaze myself. Today is not one of those days.
Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on save energy mode.
Don’t be average, be savage.
Mirror: you look amazing today. Camera: No, you don’t.
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
If I don’t post a picture, did it even really happen?
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the filter.
I’m just a girl standing in front of a camera asking if this is Instagram-worthy?
I got 99 problems, but a bad angle ain’t one.
They say nobody’s perfect. Guess what? I’m nobody.
Some supermodels are gonna feel really worried about their jobs when they see this.
I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t even know where the box is.
99% of my socks are single, and you don’t see them crying about it.
Just pretend there’s a funny caption here, like this, and we’ll never speak of it again.
I got that Friday feeling. Shame it’s only Monday.
I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!
PSA: I did not wake up like this.
Be a stiletto in a room of flats.
More issues than Vogue.
The life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.
DO what you love and you will never be late.
Catch flights, not feelings.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness., and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.”
Friends come and go like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face!
#instagramcaption #funnytext
Only dead fish go with the flow.
They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home!
Short Funny Captions For Instagram
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… it was tense.
Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
I’m not fat. I’m just easier to see.
We will be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.
You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
Finding friends with the same level of crazy is priceless.
Friends don’t let friends do stupid things… alone.
You’re the ‘she’ to my ‘-nanigans.’
We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.
I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through 47 walls, and haunt our enemies.
Never let your best friends get lonely. Keep annoying them.
You know we’re close if you see the selfies I don’t like.
A good friend is there to bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting next to you in the cell.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
A best friend is like your favorite bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, and close to your heart.
Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.
Behind every great woman is an even better friend to approve her selfies.
You don’t have to be crazy to be my best friend, but if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me anyway.
Real friends don’t care if your room is clean. They’re the ones messing it up.
Life’s short and so are we.
I don’t like to commit myself to heaven and hell. You see, I have friends in both places.
Non-biological sibs.
When worst comes to worst, the squad comes first.
Friends who slay together, stay together.
I would kill for a Nobel Peace Price!
I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
You are one in a melon.
If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new style of hair every morning!
I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
People say nothing is impossible. But I do nothing every day!
We are the world, we are the children!
Funny how a beautiful song could tell such a sad story.
Be young, be dope, be proud.
Be a cupcake in a world of muffins.
When you are downie, eat a brownie.
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they will start using it.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I have to do.
Wine + dinner = winner
I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
They say: Do what you love and the money will come to you. Just ordered pizza, now I am waiting…
You can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.
I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
But first, let me take a selfie.
Funny Captions For Multiple Pictures On Instagram
My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
Someday someone is going to look at you like you’re the best thing in the world.
Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.
When nothing goes right, go left instead.
You don’t have to like me; I’m not a Facebook status.
As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.
When you take a selfie and your hairs look perfect but not your face.
Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
Always classy, never trashy, and a little bit sassy.
A selfie once a day keeps the depression away.
Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
Somethings look very good in dreams.
When you are laughing life seems to be better.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more minute. Yet… I wouldn’t call them lies!
I know the voices in my head aren’t real… but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
Today is a good day for cake.
When I wanna Ice cream, ICE cream it
Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet…I wouldn’t call them lies!
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But that gets boring really fast. So I go back to being normal!
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A may-bee… I’m a maybe.
I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
Just got that Friday feeling.
The more you weight, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake!
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside.
If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
Did it for the memories – totally worth it!
You couldn’t handle me. Even if I would come with instructions!
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it!
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
Brains are awesome. I wish everybody would have one!
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
How do I feel when there is no coffee?
Confidence level: Kanye West.
How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop